Small change

Yesterday I was thinking about how much time I waste over the course of a day, a week, a month and who knows how much over the course of a year. Birthdays always make me feel reflective (it’s mine tomorrow) and perhaps this is what triggered my pondering.

I’m by nature a lazy person, the type that will lie in bed all day putting off going to the lavatory for as long as possible just so I don’t have to get up: laying there getting hungrier because I don’t want to move from my snug. I realise that this is quite a childish attitude and how (potentially) destructive it is but I have formed a habit and as we all know habits are hard to break. But how do you go about finding a different style of life that doesn’t feel like an imposition?

I’m a great fan of change one small things and keep doing that (well I am a fan of it now but my laziness could kick in and then I’m back to the beginning) so I did the first small change yesterday. I took up running again.

I don’t pretend to be a great athlete (I’m lazy remember) but I started C25K last summer and found it oddly enjoyable. Unfortunately I managed to seriously twist my ankle to the extent that I could feel the ligament ripping and gave up, well was forced to give up. Instead of finding another exercise regime that would allow me to retain the fitness I had painstakingly gained I just hobbled away. DOH!

Yesterday was the first small change that will lead to my very short term goal of doing again tomorrow (but maybe not as it is my birthday) and leading onto my short term goal of running/walking every other day for the next few weeks. I’m not planning anything beyond that as it is a point that I cannot imagine but I figure if I get a few short term goals behind me then I might just start planning a few mid-length goals and then who knows? World domination may be mine.

Starting Reasons

I am not a natural athlete. Running around when I was a kid was all well and good. I had fun, I climbed trees, I rode bikes, I did the things that kids growing up in the 70s did but as I got older and realised that motorbikes and cars could get you around so much faster and in a more fun way, I gave up on the running and riding.

Skip forward many years and at the age of 41 I decided to take up roller derby. It was fantastic, a real life changer, but with the joy of finding a sport that I actually liked came the realisation that I needed to get so much fitter. Roller derby is great for fitness and within a few weeks it was beginning to come together. Then . . . disaster. I fell over whilst skating and something went crack, well more CRACK!!! I sat with tears in my eyes daring myself to get up and see what part of my ankle would pop out of place and when I did nothing happened. It was a bit ouchy and my right ankle was a bit tender but nothing terrible had happened.

Throughout last summer it twinged and complained and sometimes swelled to impressive proportions but I kept on even though my skating was suffering as I couldn’t push out properly ‘cause it just hurt too much. Then in August I did the Goodwood Roller Marathon along with many of my fabulous team mates. After 5 and a half laps I was ok, slowing down but still keen and then it happened again. I fell.

My ankle complained and I along with it. I sat there on a boiling hot day on the side of the track watching skaters in all shapes, sizes and abilities go past. Some stopped to see if I was okay and I, in that brittle way of the British injured, said I was. After 30 minutes I got up and carried on: slowly, oh so slowly for the next 5 and a half laps finishing in a time of 4 hours 32 minutes.

And then I gave up roller derby – only for the short term – to give the 3, yes 3 ripped ligaments a chance to heal. After 2 months out, doing a bit of physio I went back and although it was better, I was nervous as in the intervening time I had put on loads of weight and was just not comfortable on skates. Then I got work away so was off from November until March then in April I finally left the amazing, supportive Sheffield Steel Roller Girls as I just couldn’t get myself fit and it was making me sad.

After wallowing for a few months I have decided that I want to be fit and I am still young enough to get fit so I have started to run. And be much more careful about what I eat. AND given up weekday (and mostly weekend) drinking. The running is horrible but I am doing it and I shall continue to do it until I am fit enough and my ankle is strong enough to start skating again.

So the moral of this?

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get off your arse if you want to do something. If it is that important to you, you'll make the effort.